1. What is your favorite color?
   A)  Oh God, slay me now!

   B)  I love the color red. Dark, blood red. Hmmm…or black.

   C)  I like any color that is healing, especially yellow.

   D)  Blue is my favorite color, than and/or green.

   E) White or pink are colors I like.

2. How do you feel about life?
   A)  I am all for celebrating life in the most carnal way!

   B)  The life of mortals must be protected from evil. Goodness needs to prevail!

   C)  I love life - when it end in death. I own your soul, questioner!

   D)  Life is all about reproducing. Through your child, you become immortal.

   E) What, are you some sort of new-age hippy?!

3. If someone wronged you, how would you react?
   A)  I would question them and ask them why they would do such a thing.

   B)  I would cut them off at the knees. No questions asked.

   C)  Their death would become a living hell.

   D)  I would treat them as I would treat any naughty child. A good scolding and no dinner!

   E) *mutters* Idiots.

4. What is your view on war?
   A)  It is unavoidable. Besides, it keeps me in business.

   B)  *Yawns* What a stupid question.

   C)  I would try to talk to both sides to prevent it from happening.

   D)  I prefer producing children, not killing them.

   E) Sometimes there’s a good reason for war. When it inevitably breaks out, you can count on me to be in the middle of the fighting!

5. Which song by "The Scorpions" appeals to you most?
   A)  “Winds of Change”

   B)  “The Zoo”

   C)  "The Scorpions"? Man what a loser...

   D)  “Rocked You Like a Hurricane”

   E) “Send Me An Angel”

6. How do you see yourself?
   A)  As a mother and wife.

   B)  *picks nose and ignores such a ridiculous question.*

   C)  As a lover and a warrior all rolled into a feisty little package.

   D)  As an emissary for goodness.

   E) As Death.

7. A handsome man approaches you, and?
   A)  He is crushed under my husband’s heel.

   B)  He sees I am a married lady and is tempted no more!

   C)  We talk. That’s it, I swear!

   D)  I grab him by his shoulders and tell him to run, as fast as he can, far from this quiz.

   E) A little Kash, a little music, a big, honking bed. Well, you get the picture.

8. What type of myth are you?
   A)  A temptress story of love, loss and war.

   B)  One where things resolve through fast thinking, wit and wisdom.

   C)  “What kind of myth am I?” *Grabs pencil and contemplates the benefits of eye gouging.*

   D)  I like a good romance about marriage and children.

   E) Death. Pestilence. Doom. Gloom.

9. If you were an animal, what would you be?
   A)  An owl.

   B)  A rabbit.

   C)  A lion.

   D)  A wolf.

   E) Kill. Me. NOW!

10. Which of your characteristics do people remember most about you?
   A)  I am warm and motherly.

   B)  I am seductive and have a fiery temper.

   C)  I am a mediator and a good listener.

   D)  I am dark and not one to mess with.

   E) I am obviously tenacious and brave. I made it through this asinine quiz!